Things That Make Me Paranoid

I was picking up dinner tonight, and my stream of consciousness got me caught up in this whirlwind of paranoia that I couldn't resist following. I was getting back into my car and noticed that my tires seemed a little low. Then I reminded myself that I always think my tires are a little low, that my tires are always a focus of paranoia for me. And my appendix. My tire pressure, my appendix, and getting eaten by an alligator. Driving alone on a deserted road, my tire pressure, my appendix, and getting eaten by an alligator. You see where I'm going here...

Most of the things that I get so worked up over are really the stupidest things. How in the world do we develop phobias? It's conditioning, I know, but really...what is the likelihood that anything on my list is going to happen to me? Some are more likely that others, but I should be more scared of the everyday dangers I face (electricity, cars, strangers, etc.) than what I'm actually wary about. Regardless, I'm curious to see how many things really make me paranoid, so let's compile a list, shall we?

1. My tire pressure
2. My appendix
3. When I go to download a new app on my phone and it tells me it will have access
to my location
4. People sitting behind me in the movie theater when I go to watch a scary movie
5. People invading my space
6. Putting my shoes on after they've been left outside
7. Being eaten by an alligator
8. Being in open water
9. Heights!
10. Calls from an "unknown" number
11. Cats
12. Leaving my purse unattended
13. Driving alone on a road with no other drivers
14. Fog
15. Log trucks
16. Old men with beards
17. Old women with beards
18. Bearded babies
19. Carnies
20. Carnival rides
21. Public restrooms
22. Drain grates
23. Cloning
24. McDonald's hamburgers
25. Heavily tinted windows
26. Canned cheese
27. Cow eyes
28. Jehovah's Witnesses
29. "Haunted" establishments
30. Having to take my shoes off for security checks at the airport
31. Hitchhikers
32. People with gold teeth
33. The Georgia Composite Board!!!
34. Joaquin Phoenix
35. Video cameras
36. The thought of dying a slow, excuriating death
37. The thought that some sadist will get a hold of this blog, find out where I live, and make me face all of the above...
38. Aquariums
39. Ferries
40. People with red hair

OK, I'm going to stop there. You know, the things we have an innate fear of, such as snakes, are hard-wired in our brains due to evolution. I'm just going to blame my ancestors for all these weird neuroses. Maybe in their times there was a lot of red-headed Jehovah's Witnesses running rampent with gold teeth and canned cheese. I don't know, I'm not going to analyze it, I'm just going to avoid it. Death to all drainage grates!